geosp
Trail Wise!
Posts: 495
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Post by geosp on Sept 21, 2019 17:11:02 GMT -8
Man goes into the doctors and says, 'I've got a problem doc, I think I'm a moth.' You should really see a psychiatrist says the doctor. 'Well' says the man, 'I was on my way to see one but your light was on.'
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Post by JRinGeorgia on Sept 22, 2019 11:35:32 GMT -8
I went to see my doctor, he told me to take off all my clothes except my tie. "My tie?" I asked. He said, "Yes, because when you see my bill you'll want to hang yourself."
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desert dweller
Trail Wise!
Power to the Peaceful...Hate does not create.
Posts: 6,291
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Post by desert dweller on Sept 22, 2019 19:50:45 GMT -8
Q: What's blue and smells like red paint?
A: Blue paint.
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driftwoody
Trail Wise!
Take the path closer to the edge, especially if less traveled
Posts: 14,982
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Bad Jokes
Sept 23, 2019 16:27:56 GMT -8
via mobile
Post by driftwoody on Sept 23, 2019 16:27:56 GMT -8
There must have been an ulterior motive yet to be discerned. NOBODY wants to see YOUR naked body.
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whistlepunk
Trail Wise!
I was an award winning honor student once. I have no idea what happened...
Posts: 1,446
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Post by whistlepunk on Sept 24, 2019 12:50:34 GMT -8
I was walking through the kitchen and got a Cheerio stuck between my toes.
Obviously, the dog is not doing his share of the chores.
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whistlepunk
Trail Wise!
I was an award winning honor student once. I have no idea what happened...
Posts: 1,446
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Post by whistlepunk on Oct 1, 2019 14:01:05 GMT -8
I feel so much better all day after I switched from coffee to orange juice in the morning. My doctor says it is due to the Vitamin C and natural sugars.
I think it is due to the vodka.
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whistlepunk
Trail Wise!
I was an award winning honor student once. I have no idea what happened...
Posts: 1,446
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Bad Jokes
Oct 1, 2019 14:04:34 GMT -8
via mobile
Post by whistlepunk on Oct 1, 2019 14:04:34 GMT -8
How many wive can a man have? 16 4 better 4 worse 4 richer 4 poorer OMG! That is 16 Mothers-In-Law!
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whistlepunk
Trail Wise!
I was an award winning honor student once. I have no idea what happened...
Posts: 1,446
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Post by whistlepunk on Oct 1, 2019 14:15:41 GMT -8
There is nothing wrong with an eye-opener when you first get up in the morning. Starts the day out right. Having a mid morning beer while doing your daily chores is perfectly fine. A beer and a sandwich for lunch is normal. Enjoying a drink with your neighbor while chatting over the fence is, well, just neighborly. A few before dinner drinks is socially acceptable. Wine or cocktails with dinner helps your digestion. Nothing wrong with a few after dinner drinks. Sharing a bottle of wine with friends in the evening is just being friendly. A nice nightcap helps you sleep better. But this notion of drinking all day long is just wrong..
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whistlepunk
Trail Wise!
I was an award winning honor student once. I have no idea what happened...
Posts: 1,446
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Post by whistlepunk on Oct 1, 2019 14:20:22 GMT -8
Heading into the Fall season I start more paying attention to my diet. I am trying to add more vegetables.
Pumpkin Pie Zucchini Bread Carrot Cake Candy Corn
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tomas
Trail Wise!
Posts: 1,906
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Post by tomas on Oct 1, 2019 15:40:30 GMT -8
What did the buffalo say wen he dropped his kid off at school? Bi-son
What do you call a vet who specializes in fish? A fish-ysician.
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whistlepunk
Trail Wise!
I was an award winning honor student once. I have no idea what happened...
Posts: 1,446
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Post by whistlepunk on Oct 1, 2019 20:44:28 GMT -8
Have you ever wondered if Soy Milk is just regular milk introducing itself in Spanish?
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Post by hikingtiger on Oct 2, 2019 8:51:07 GMT -8
"You've got to watch your step when the chips are down." --Cow Patty
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franco
Trail Wise!
Posts: 2,297
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Post by franco on Oct 2, 2019 16:20:16 GMT -8
A man asked his wife : what would you do if I won the lottery? She replys : I would take half and leave you. Good, he says. I just won $12 , so here is your $6. Stay in touch.
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whistlepunk
Trail Wise!
I was an award winning honor student once. I have no idea what happened...
Posts: 1,446
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Post by whistlepunk on Oct 30, 2019 9:43:07 GMT -8
From a TV Game Show:
Which of the following are you allowed to have in California"
A) Marijuana B) Unpasteurized milk C) Straws D) Electricity
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whistlepunk
Trail Wise!
I was an award winning honor student once. I have no idea what happened...
Posts: 1,446
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Post by whistlepunk on Nov 2, 2019 16:08:54 GMT -8
Two silk worms held a race.
They ended up in a tie.
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