echo
Trail Wise!
Posts: 3,330
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Post by echo on Aug 3, 2016 19:30:42 GMT -8
Don, I'm sorry for your loss. I always feel words are so inadequate for something this big, but A.A. Milne had Pooh Bear say something that came close as I ever found, "how lucky I am to have something that makes saying good-by so hard."
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Post by hikinggods on Aug 3, 2016 19:49:03 GMT -8
Very sorry to hear your sad news. 42 years together is an impressive achievement, but makes the loss all the worse.
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Post by swimswithtrout on Aug 3, 2016 20:27:11 GMT -8
So sorry for your loss.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Aug 3, 2016 21:53:21 GMT -8
Of all life's obstacles, losing a spouse is the one I fear most. That was also Tommy's biggest fear. He wanted to die before I did. He knew I could handle it better. And he wanted to die quickly. He got all of what he wanted in death except for one thing. He really wanted to die at our main Reno home, not here in SSF. But that was not possible after a few days ago. Four days ago, Tom & I went out to lunch together. The next day, he could not get out of bed. It happened exactly like Hospice said it would. Reasonably well to completely bed-ridden within 12 or so hours. But every time they saw Tommy, they reduced his life expectancy by quite a bit. But it took even less time than they expected. Hospice expected Tommy would die this coming weekend, Aug 6 or 7. He died on Aug 3, even faster than expected, which was a good thing. BTW, IMO, Hospice is MUCH better than doctors when it comes to life expectancy because they deal with this almost every day. Thanks for all the replies from all who responded. -Don- SSF, CA
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jazzmom
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a.k.a. TigerFan
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Post by jazzmom on Aug 4, 2016 2:38:08 GMT -8
I'm so sorry for your loss.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Aug 4, 2016 3:21:13 GMT -8
I am sorry for your loss. I don't know if I could handle the loss of my spouse. Be well and don't to forget to take care of yourself.
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tarol
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Redding, CA
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Post by tarol on Aug 4, 2016 5:29:28 GMT -8
I am so sorry, hugs and prayers headed your way.
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Post by hikingtiger on Aug 4, 2016 9:26:24 GMT -8
Very sorry, Don.
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Westy
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Diagnosed w/Post-Trail Transition Syndrome
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Post by Westy on Aug 4, 2016 11:01:39 GMT -8
My sincere condolences.
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VAN
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Post by VAN on Aug 4, 2016 11:07:03 GMT -8
Sending love and condolences. I was a hospice social worker for a period of time. So glad they were there to comfort both of you in your time of need.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Aug 4, 2016 22:11:53 GMT -8
Sending love and condolences. I was a hospice social worker for a period of time. So glad they were there to comfort both of you in your time of need. It would not be possible for me to do the job without Hospice plus a friend. I discovered it was a two man job for many reasons. I learned all of this the hard way. How did you like being a Hospice social worker? One came down here to make sure Tom was well taken care of. They walked in while the Hospice nurse and aid was here, along with me and my friend, so it was obvious Tom was well taken care of. I assume the social worker is to check that things are going okay, was that your job? -Don- SSF, CA
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VAN
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Post by VAN on Aug 5, 2016 6:29:49 GMT -8
Yes when I was a hospice social worker i would got and do an assessment on the person and their family, looking at environmental needs, social needs, caregiving needs, and mental health needs. I worked in coordination with the chaplain for spiritual needs and the nurses/doctors for health and medical needs. I would visit monthly to follow up on any concerns or problem solve. Often helping families locate additional resources. Most of the time though, I just went to be an extra support and to be with caregivers who were often isolated. I attended a lot of funerals during that time and got to know a lot of different families well. I can still drive around town and pick out houses that were on our program. It was very fulfilling work, but also very emotionally taxing. I stopped after having my second child and went back to more traditional therapy in a college setting.
I hope you know that you can always count on your hospice family for support. Many hospices have longstanding support groups after a loved one dies. Check into it if you feel the need to connect with others who have also experienced loss.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Aug 5, 2016 11:14:59 GMT -8
I hope you know that you can always count on your hospice family for support. Many hospices have longstanding support groups after a loved one dies. Check into it if you feel the need to connect with others who have also experienced loss. Yes, but I told them I did not need it. I get am getting by fine with a little help from my friends. -Don- SSF, CA
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Post by trinity on Aug 8, 2016 5:10:57 GMT -8
So sorry for your loss, Don. I'll be keeping you and Tom in my thoughts and my prayers.
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RumiDude
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Marmota olympus
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Post by RumiDude on Aug 8, 2016 7:56:24 GMT -8
Don, I just got back from a trip and saw this so I am a bit late with adding my condolences. Please know I am very sorry for your loss. I will think of Tom and you and hope that you find peace and solace as you move forward in your life.
RIP Tom, RIP.
Rumi
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