Post by balzaccom on Jan 22, 2023 12:08:33 GMT -8
When approached by an admirer asking for any advice on how to proceed with creating a symphony Mozart looked him in the eye in all seriousness and said, “A symphony is a very complex musical form. Perhaps you should begin with some simple lieder and work your way up to a symphony." The admirer looked perplexed and responded, “But Herr Mozart, you were writing symphonies when you were eight years old,” to which Mozart responded, “Yes, but I never asked anybody how”.
When Dorothy Parker heard a drunk fellow make a comment saying, “I can’t bear fools,” Parker quickly responded, “Apparently your mother could…” Ouch!
While attending a session of Parliament, one of the members blatantly asked the Prime Minister, “Mr. Churchill, must you fall asleep while I’m speaking?” Churchill lazily raised his head and rebutted, “No, it’s purely voluntary.”
And George Bernard Shaw invited Churchill to his latest play entitled Buoyant Billions. In his letter, he wrote that he had reserved him two tickets for opening night so “come and bring a friend if you have one.” Always a good sport up to going tit for tat, Churchill replied, “Impossible to come first night. Will come to second night if you have one.”
At one point John Montagu addressed John Wilkes by saying, “Sir, I do not know whether you will die on the gallows or of the pox”, to which Wilkes replied, “That will depend, my lord, on whether I embrace your principles or your mistress.”
In fact, when one singer, who shall remain anonymous, bragged that she had insured her voice for a cool fifty thousand dollars, Miriam Hopkins put her in her place by saying, “That’s wonderful. And what did you do with the money?”
On one occasion Pope John XXIII was asked how many people were working in the Vatican, to which he replied, “About half.”
And here's one that resonates today: Many of the attendees of a conference follwing WWI were discussing the horrible war when one person stated that historians would be debating those responsible for the start of the Great War for generations upon generations. In hearing this statement Clemenceau responded, “Yes, but one thing is certain: They will not say that Belgium invaded Germany.”
And my favorite, for these parlous times: Supreme Court Justice Fuller was asked to preside over a church conference when a member of the audience rose and began a tirade against universities and education in general. He then went on to thank God that he had never been corrupted by such institutions. When Fuller asked the audience member if he was thanking God for his ignorance, he responded, “Well yes, if you want to put it that way.” Fuller then calmly replied, “Then you have a great deal to be thankful for.”
When Dorothy Parker heard a drunk fellow make a comment saying, “I can’t bear fools,” Parker quickly responded, “Apparently your mother could…” Ouch!
While attending a session of Parliament, one of the members blatantly asked the Prime Minister, “Mr. Churchill, must you fall asleep while I’m speaking?” Churchill lazily raised his head and rebutted, “No, it’s purely voluntary.”
And George Bernard Shaw invited Churchill to his latest play entitled Buoyant Billions. In his letter, he wrote that he had reserved him two tickets for opening night so “come and bring a friend if you have one.” Always a good sport up to going tit for tat, Churchill replied, “Impossible to come first night. Will come to second night if you have one.”
At one point John Montagu addressed John Wilkes by saying, “Sir, I do not know whether you will die on the gallows or of the pox”, to which Wilkes replied, “That will depend, my lord, on whether I embrace your principles or your mistress.”
In fact, when one singer, who shall remain anonymous, bragged that she had insured her voice for a cool fifty thousand dollars, Miriam Hopkins put her in her place by saying, “That’s wonderful. And what did you do with the money?”
On one occasion Pope John XXIII was asked how many people were working in the Vatican, to which he replied, “About half.”
And here's one that resonates today: Many of the attendees of a conference follwing WWI were discussing the horrible war when one person stated that historians would be debating those responsible for the start of the Great War for generations upon generations. In hearing this statement Clemenceau responded, “Yes, but one thing is certain: They will not say that Belgium invaded Germany.”
And my favorite, for these parlous times: Supreme Court Justice Fuller was asked to preside over a church conference when a member of the audience rose and began a tirade against universities and education in general. He then went on to thank God that he had never been corrupted by such institutions. When Fuller asked the audience member if he was thanking God for his ignorance, he responded, “Well yes, if you want to put it that way.” Fuller then calmly replied, “Then you have a great deal to be thankful for.”
