Post by darthmusturd on Dec 5, 2021 19:35:54 GMT -8
Earlier this year I was invited out to an undisclosed location in the great state of Mississippi, near where I am, by a close friend. They have a huge deer hunting property, which is very beautiful and luxurious. He decided to show me the property via ATV. Now, I had never been on an ATV before. He takes off on this thing and I am holding on to the little side bars for dear life. I tried holding on to him for a short period of time, but he is smaller than I am, and that didn't work at all. Besides, it felt a little too intimate since every time he slowed down my crotch would slam into his back.
Anyhow, eventually, he gives me the metaphorical keys and shows me the acceleration, gears, and breaks. I do pretty good in the daytime. I actually am naturally inclined to riding vehicles like that, apparently. However, I am also naturally inclined to horse riding, probably genetically (as well as skeet) since my mother and grandmother both rode horses and shot skeet. So, I learned how to drift in gravel within about 30 minutes and have the time of my life. A thing to note about this property is that the roads wash out easily, and there was rain a few days before I went to the property. So, we spent a good portion of the day fishing and loading corn into deer feeders.
Eventually, night comes. We go out night riding with this shoddy little spotlight. My friend drives us out into the woods. Then, he hands me the keys again and lets me drive. Eventually, I get to 30 miles an hour or so. I come up on this curve and accidentally kick this thing into 4th gear. I hadn't previously driven out of 1st and 3rd gear (Didn't bother with second. Any gears other than first and 3rd on this ATV are basically useless). I hit the curve and tried to turn to the left.
I ended up hitting the washout and this thing started to flip. Everything immediately went into slow motion from shock. While it was at a 20 degree angle or so I felt something fly off the back. I didn't realize that it was my friend. Then, everything went black for about half a second or so. I didn't feel any pain, only pressure. I felt (what we pieced together after the fact) was the front right tire hit my thigh and I felt something super heavy roll over my head. I thought what was rolling over my head was the tire at the time, but it turned out it was the seat.
Now, it pushed my head into the ground and it felt like my head was about to get squished by a watermelon. Luckily, this thing had enough momentum that it dragged us out into this cotton field a good 10-15 feet or so, and the ATV was going fast enough that the force was directed over me and not onto me. I immediately stood up so that if I had a head injury I wouldn't fall asleep, among other things. I dusted myself off and said something along the lines of "I wish I had a go-pro on for that" being the comedian I am. The friend said "Don't talk, just breathe" and then let out the most winded "F***************CK!!!" I had ever heard. We both had the wind knocked out of us so hard we couldn't breathe.
We eventually stood up. It hurt to walk for both of us. He drove us back to the house while we were both still semi-conscious from shock. We walked in the door, got cleaned up, and discussed what happened for a few hours. We eventually concluded that both of us had come within inches of our life, literally. If I had been about an inch off, this thing would have either broken my neck or decapitated me, the front right tire would have literally squished my gonads, and a few other things.
Also, I reached in the seat for gloves earlier and discovered it was loose. I put the gloves back and the seat was tightened. If it hadn't been tightened the engine block would have fallen out on my head and crushed me. Neither of us had broken bones or even sprains. However, we both had horribly lipomas. It hurt to sleep for weeks. Walking was a pain, but we both got out the next day and fished again, and loaded more corn. I still have small hard spots on my leg where the lipoma was, even though this happened a couple weeks after Labour Day. Only by the grace of God did we get out alive that night, and I mean it. The moral of all this being, be safe. Things can and will go bad very easily, and that goes double for motorized vehicles and the woods.
Anyhow, eventually, he gives me the metaphorical keys and shows me the acceleration, gears, and breaks. I do pretty good in the daytime. I actually am naturally inclined to riding vehicles like that, apparently. However, I am also naturally inclined to horse riding, probably genetically (as well as skeet) since my mother and grandmother both rode horses and shot skeet. So, I learned how to drift in gravel within about 30 minutes and have the time of my life. A thing to note about this property is that the roads wash out easily, and there was rain a few days before I went to the property. So, we spent a good portion of the day fishing and loading corn into deer feeders.
Eventually, night comes. We go out night riding with this shoddy little spotlight. My friend drives us out into the woods. Then, he hands me the keys again and lets me drive. Eventually, I get to 30 miles an hour or so. I come up on this curve and accidentally kick this thing into 4th gear. I hadn't previously driven out of 1st and 3rd gear (Didn't bother with second. Any gears other than first and 3rd on this ATV are basically useless). I hit the curve and tried to turn to the left.
I ended up hitting the washout and this thing started to flip. Everything immediately went into slow motion from shock. While it was at a 20 degree angle or so I felt something fly off the back. I didn't realize that it was my friend. Then, everything went black for about half a second or so. I didn't feel any pain, only pressure. I felt (what we pieced together after the fact) was the front right tire hit my thigh and I felt something super heavy roll over my head. I thought what was rolling over my head was the tire at the time, but it turned out it was the seat.
Now, it pushed my head into the ground and it felt like my head was about to get squished by a watermelon. Luckily, this thing had enough momentum that it dragged us out into this cotton field a good 10-15 feet or so, and the ATV was going fast enough that the force was directed over me and not onto me. I immediately stood up so that if I had a head injury I wouldn't fall asleep, among other things. I dusted myself off and said something along the lines of "I wish I had a go-pro on for that" being the comedian I am. The friend said "Don't talk, just breathe" and then let out the most winded "F***************CK!!!" I had ever heard. We both had the wind knocked out of us so hard we couldn't breathe.
We eventually stood up. It hurt to walk for both of us. He drove us back to the house while we were both still semi-conscious from shock. We walked in the door, got cleaned up, and discussed what happened for a few hours. We eventually concluded that both of us had come within inches of our life, literally. If I had been about an inch off, this thing would have either broken my neck or decapitated me, the front right tire would have literally squished my gonads, and a few other things.
Also, I reached in the seat for gloves earlier and discovered it was loose. I put the gloves back and the seat was tightened. If it hadn't been tightened the engine block would have fallen out on my head and crushed me. Neither of us had broken bones or even sprains. However, we both had horribly lipomas. It hurt to sleep for weeks. Walking was a pain, but we both got out the next day and fished again, and loaded more corn. I still have small hard spots on my leg where the lipoma was, even though this happened a couple weeks after Labour Day. Only by the grace of God did we get out alive that night, and I mean it. The moral of all this being, be safe. Things can and will go bad very easily, and that goes double for motorized vehicles and the woods.