Admin
Trail Wise!
Posts: 486
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Post by Admin on Jan 9, 2016 16:27:17 GMT -8
Please read this info about advertising. I haven't looked at your link yet, but if it offers a way to purchase, that won't fly! If you want to post info here, or answer questions, we'll see how the others react. Talk about hammocks (there are plenty of people here that use them) just don't push for sales. A difficult task, but selling is not allowed here. Edit to add: It has been the policy to allow manufacturers and reps to participate as long as they made it clear they represented a product and did not post 1-800 or sales offers. The idea was to welcome their knowledge and let them answer questions. The best example ever was a rep from MSR who was great at answering questions about water filters and stoves. It may be that a hard link to your site will not go over well, but you are certainly welcome to stay and talk about hammocks. I'm trying to be fair here, so let's see how it goes.
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zeke
Trail Wise!
Peekaboo slot 2023
Posts: 9,884
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Post by zeke on Jan 9, 2016 17:39:27 GMT -8
There is a plethora of good hammocks out there. War Bonnet, Hennessy, Butt in a Sling, Clayton, DD Hammocks, Eagle's Nest, Grand Trunk, and others. Good luck in starting a business that appears to be flooded already. You will need to offer something the others don't.
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Post by trinity on Jan 9, 2016 18:39:20 GMT -8
The best example ever was a rep from MSR I would nominate franco for this title, a great example of how reps can be extremely valuable forum participants without constantly pimping their stuff. I'm sure you've done your research into the market, but Zeke is right, there's an awful lot of competition out there, and he doesn't even mention Dutchware Gear, Hammeck, Dream Hammocks, Wilderness Logic, or Arrowhead Equipment. As a backpacking hammock, yours strikes me as a bit on the heavy side. My Hammeck Netty weighs around 22 ounces with ridgeline, suspension system (whoopies) and an integrated bugnet. You also might consider providing more information regarding hammock materials. It is also worth mentioning that ropes can damage trees when used to hang hammocks. You might consider selling your hammocks with webbing straps, which are much less harmful.
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Westy
Trail Wise!
Diagnosed w/Post-Trail Transition Syndrome
Posts: 1,960
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Post by Westy on Jan 9, 2016 18:40:13 GMT -8
Course: Business Writing 101 - Grade: F
Checked out your website......reviewed Our Story, How We Got Started.
You use the words I twenty-six times, My ten times and We once.
Free Advice: Don't ever write a resume, marketing collateral or business report like this again!
Also the Patagonia hat needs to be replaced with a G22 version.
Keep your dream alive and jettison the I word.
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tigger
Trail Wise!
Posts: 2,547
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Post by tigger on Jan 9, 2016 19:03:02 GMT -8
Share your information about your hammocks here. I went to your site. Absolutely nothing on your opening page tells me a thing about your hammocks. I'm not going to go digging on your site. If you want to introduce yourself (and your product), at least give me an introduction. What makes you think I'm going to buy your product without telling me something about it?
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Post by cheaptentguy on Jan 9, 2016 20:09:14 GMT -8
I'd definitely change the Our Story section. Focus more on your adventures and what inspired you to make the best hammock than the section about wanting to be an entrepreneur. You need to instill confidence in your consumer that you are all about delivering the best hammock-- with experiences guiding you-- and not just trying to make money off of a trend.
Today's audience is probably a little more generous than Westy, but in general he's right. Most people will probably appreciate a personable tone, but they still want to know they are dealing with a professional company that's focused on delivering the perfect product for their needs and wants. I'd also cut the length in half.
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Post by g22outfitters on Jan 10, 2016 1:44:15 GMT -8
Im not just trying to sell my hammocks I'm wanting to see what people think about it and my site I understand that not everything is perfect about my site and so I want to try and fix that. This is why I appreciate the comments. I understand that there are many brands out there but that doesn't mean that you can't try and enter that field. Thank you for the input I will start working on my writing and other suggestions, if anyone else wants to take a look and tell me what they think let me know. Also sorry for posting in this forum bp2go.
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Admin
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Post by Admin on Jan 10, 2016 6:56:49 GMT -8
sorry for posting in this forum... Don't apologize for choosing this forum (I assume you mean the Gear Closet?) I'm glad I left your post in place because it generated advice you can benefit from. Now maybe you'll stick around and participate? Work on your site to tell how you came to decide a hammock was your quest? What does it offer that is missing from other brands?
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Westy
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Diagnosed w/Post-Trail Transition Syndrome
Posts: 1,960
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Post by Westy on Jan 10, 2016 7:40:17 GMT -8
sorry for posting in this forum bp2go. Don't give up the ship!
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Post by g22outfitters on Jan 10, 2016 14:26:39 GMT -8
OK well the story is I received an Eagle Nest hammock traveler edition last year from a friend and took it camping. It is a great quality hammock but when I slept in it with my sleeping bag I felt like whenever I moved my sleeping bag would slide out causing me to not sleep very well. Once I got home from my trip I decided to buy fabric and make my own wider hammock which would allow for a more comfortable sleep. As I built this and continued to use it my passion and love for hammocking grew and I wanted all my friends to join me. But the Kammock and Eagle Nest were too expensive for them as we were at the time high school students and now some of us are in college. So it is for this reason I decided to have a quality hammock made for a cheaper price, affordable to college students. While I understand this is not the lightest hammock for large backpacking trips I am working on creating a hammock that still provides a comfortable sleep but cuts the weight down significantly to make it more useful for backpacking. As this more affordable hammock gains traction I will be able to prototype for the lighter weight hammock. Also to address the fact of ropes damaging trees I completely agree, this is one of the things I am looking into manufacturing to replace the ropes. But like I said I have to wait till I can afford to manufacture more products. Currently I use Eagle Nest Atlas straps which have served me well. The reason I have the ropes includes currently is because it allows for immediate assembly upon purchase. I strongly encourage people to look into getting webbing straps if possible.
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Post by trinity on Jan 10, 2016 14:56:15 GMT -8
Thanks for the further explanation. Now that I have a better sense of what you're looking for, let me offer a little more constructive criticism. Get someone with technical writing experience to look things over. Misspellings and improper grammar don't make a good initial impression (eg "seems" should be "seams"). As Zeke hinted, tell us what's unique about your product. Your post above indicates that you intend your current hammock to be 1) a quality hammock at an entry level price and 2) wider than standard hammocks which, in your experience, leads to a more comfortable night's sleep. Be sure and make this clear on the product page. also, figure out who else is occupying this niche and check out their websites. See what kind of info they offer, and make sure you have the same info on your page. I recently researched and purchased a new hammock, so I was immediately put off by the scant information on your page. I trust that you are familiar with hammockforums.net, spend as much time there as you can, there are many new hangers there, so you can get a better sense of the concerns of your target audience. Best of luck in your business endeavor!
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Post by g22outfitters on Jan 10, 2016 15:10:55 GMT -8
Thank you very much for the suggestions trinity, I will keep working on my site and have people read over the writing and fix those mistakes.
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markskor
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Mammoth Lakes & Tuolumne Meadows...living the dream
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Post by markskor on Jan 10, 2016 15:43:37 GMT -8
OK ... I received... I slept... I felt like whenever... I moved... I got... I decided... I built... I wanted... I decided... I understand... I am... I will... I completely agree, I am looking... I said... I have to wait till... I can... I use... I have... I strongly...
Speaking as a high school teacher...lose all the I's! Make this story all about your product and less about you. Perhaps, something like:
OK, this story concerns the new Eagle Nest Hammock. Another current hammock design, the Traveler Edition, was borrowed last year from a friend and was first utilized while out camping. It is a great quality hammock but when sleeping in it with my sleeping bag, whenever any slight night-movement occurred, my sleeping bag would tend to slide out causing me not to sleep that well. Upon getting home from that trip, some new fabric was purchased in an attempt to make my own - a better, wider hammock, which would hopefully allow for a more comfortable sleep. My passion and love for hammocking grew with the manufacturing process and, invariably, all my friends were invited to test out the new hammock and experience the difference. However, the Kammock and Eagle Nest were still too expensive for them as we were at the time high school students (and now some are now in college). So it is for this reason, the need for another quality hammock was created, one made for a cheaper price, hopefully now affordable to most college student types. Sure, this is not the lightest hammock for extended backpacking trips and there is still considerable work ahead to create another, even better hammock that still provides a comfortable sleep but cuts the weight down significantly, thus making it even more backpacking useful. As this newer, more affordable hammock design effort gains traction, the prototype for the latest, lighter-weight hammock will soon become available. Additionally, it behooves us also to address the conundrum of the ropes damaging the tree. This is one of the features still needing major improvement...maybe a different manufacturing process to replace the ropes? However, at this time, money is a bit tight, and the cost of manufacturing more additional products is prohibitive. Nevertheless, the Eagle Nest Atlas straps have served me well so far. The reason for the ropes currently included is because it allows for immediate assembly upon purchase. Use/purchase of additional webbing straps though is strongly encouraged if possible.
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Post by trinity on Jan 10, 2016 16:40:31 GMT -8
Thank you very much for the suggestions trinity No problem, I think you will find my advice to be worth every bit as much as you paid for it!
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dh024
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Post by dh024 on Jan 10, 2016 20:30:58 GMT -8
Speaking as a high school teacher...lose all the I's! Make this story all about your product and less about you. Perhaps, something like: OK, this story concerns the new Eagle Nest Hammock. Another current hammock design, the Traveler Edition, was borrowed last year from a friend and was first utilized while out camping. It is a great quality hammock but when sleeping in it with my sleeping bag, whenever any slight night-movement occurred, my sleeping bag would tend to slide out causing me not to sleep that well. Upon getting home from that trip, some new fabric was purchased in an attempt to make my own - a better, wider hammock, which would hopefully allow for a more comfortable sleep.... Nice that you suggest ways to remove the repetitive "I"s in the text, but shouldn't a high school teacher know not to use so many instances of the passive voice in their writing, especially when correcting someone else's language? Personally, I find that far worse. To the OP - it seems like you bring some genuine passion to your business, which is a key ingredient to any successful venture. Glad to see you are taking the constructive criticism well, and I hope you can use it to fuel your passion even more in the future.
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