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Post by Lamebeaver on Jan 22, 2019 17:40:04 GMT -8
Howdy yalls, I am thinking of taking up backpacking. I know I gotta protect myself from bears and other pesky critters. What kind of gun do I need. I never go anywhere without my dog (see picture below). So I need an electric generator to power the electric blanket to keep her warm. Plus, I like drinking lots of beers. I'm thinking I need an ATV to carry all that stuff. It's illegal, but where I'm at, nobody cares, and with the govmint shut down I'm thinkin there's nobody around to write me a ticket.  Any advice you can give would be greatly preciated. |
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tomas
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Post by tomas on Jan 22, 2019 17:54:06 GMT -8
What kind of gun do I need. |
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zeke
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Post by zeke on Jan 22, 2019 18:00:38 GMT -8
I'm not sure if this should be in TPA, or TR. I'm sure it is just all in fun.
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reuben
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Gonna need more Camels at the next refugio...
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Post by reuben on Jan 22, 2019 18:01:28 GMT -8
Dogs are great and can protect you, but for real protection you need a wolverine. Possibly the most badass creature on the planet. But good luck training one. Or keeping up with it.
You need a super high power/caliber gun so you can shoot a charging grizzly between the eyes.
ATVs need high rpms, big knobby tires, and the more noise the better. Mud is good. Mud flaps are bad.
A big ass knife is great for cutting up salami. 20 inches should do it.
Orange shoes are great signals when you get lost 2.5 miles off the trail in suburbia. Just don't wear them to your pilates class or they'll make you pay to refinish the wood floor.
Be sure to wear digital camo, because, you know, all of the caribou have taken out their eyes and implanted digital sensors. The old "analog" mossy oak won't fool them.
Take portable speakers and blast it. Everyone loves hearing some Journey late at night.
Don't worry about packing out your beer cans. They add minerals to the soil.
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crawford
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Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.--Edison
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Post by crawford on Jan 22, 2019 18:40:04 GMT -8
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texasbb
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Post by texasbb on Jan 22, 2019 18:59:46 GMT -8
No need for an electric blanket if you keep a bonfire going, so swap the generator out for a chainsaw.
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Post by greg1062 on Jan 22, 2019 21:30:55 GMT -8
Knife or salami? *looks for the out of context thread* |
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Post by High Sierra Fan on Jan 22, 2019 22:27:44 GMT -8
I’m just that bit old fashioned so I’m voting for a Cat D-9 for transport. You can pull a housing sledge that your dog snd chain saw will be quite cozy in. And as it burns through absolutely appalling amounts of fuel your contribution to fighting global cooling will be substantial.
The best routes are straight up stream beds.
You’ll thank me later.
As a further win? Your path out will be followable for years. Saving the locals substantial SAR expenses. Such a giver!
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Post by bluefish on Jan 23, 2019 5:02:10 GMT -8
Don't need anything so fancy for any of it. I just go down in front of Home Despot and gets me a team of day workers, like hirin' those fellers that go up Evrest.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jan 23, 2019 5:06:30 GMT -8
If youenz is nuaght gonna git-ne o them there phased plasmer rifle do-hickies look inter a made in da USofA M65 Atomic Cannon, kills everything, except fer cockroaches hiding under the refers. As fer a dwag get a targ:  As fer a generator get a pocket sized matter-anti-matter converter. |
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mk
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Post by mk on Jan 23, 2019 6:15:06 GMT -8
OMG. Thanks for the laughs.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jan 23, 2019 6:33:20 GMT -8
Errr, as fer as a ATV goes get an AT-AT.  To carry all the gear. |
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Post by hikingtiger on Jan 23, 2019 7:16:02 GMT -8
Errr, as fer as a ATV goes get an AT-AT. Solves your gun problem, too. |
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Post by Lamebeaver on Jan 23, 2019 7:17:13 GMT -8
I’m just that bit old fashioned so I’m voting for a Cat D-9 for transport. That's a great Idea! The ripper blade would be perfect for digging a trench around my tent at campsites! |
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jan 23, 2019 7:28:50 GMT -8
That's a great Idea! The ripper blade would be perfect for digging a trench around my tent at campsites! But, but ifin youenz had one of them there AT-AT do-hicky thingies, youenz wood not need ferra tent. |
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