texasbb
Trail Wise!
Hates chicken
Posts: 1,223
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Post by texasbb on Sept 22, 2022 12:28:46 GMT -8
AARP is no biggie. I'm ready to throttle the salesmen for cremation plans. I'd buy one if I got to choose who to cremate (and when).
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FamilySherpa
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Tangled up in Rhododendron
Posts: 1,791
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Post by FamilySherpa on Sept 22, 2022 12:32:06 GMT -8
The guy down at the local market constantly calls me "chief" and i'm unsure what to make of it.
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Post by trinity on Sept 22, 2022 13:17:50 GMT -8
If everyone walks around unconsciously slinging respect, it cheapens real respect. It's like handing out participation trophies. Like Coolkat, I understand and respect this perspective, and also disagree with it, for several reasons. First, I agree with coolkat's resoning. I believe that respect is contagious, and we could use a lot more of it in the world. Secondly, I believe that not only does who we are shape how we behave, but also that how we behave shapes who we are. In other words, treating others with respect forms us as respectful people. This way of thinking does not come naturally to Americans, but is almost assumed in many Asian cultures. Finally, as a Christian, I believe that respect and dignity do not have to be earned; they are our birthrite. To me, disrespect has to be earned. Respect does not. I promise you, there is nothing unreal or phony about the respect with which I treat people.
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zeke
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Peekaboo slot 2023
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Post by zeke on Sept 22, 2022 13:25:24 GMT -8
Umm, I think SBM has his tongue firmly tucked into his cheek there.
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driftwoody
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Take the path closer to the edge, especially if less traveled
Posts: 14,974
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Post by driftwoody on Sept 22, 2022 13:27:04 GMT -8
AARP is no biggie. I'm ready to throttle the salesmen for cremation plans. I'd buy one if I got to choose who to cremate (and when). I recently received an offer that guaranteed me a smokin-hot body, but then I read the fine print and it required cremation.
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Post by trinity on Sept 22, 2022 14:01:10 GMT -8
Umm, I think SBM has his tongue firmly tucked into his cheek there. Certainly. Hopefully we're all just having some fun here. But SBM always makes good points, even when he's being tongue in cheek. And I also find this topic very interesting.
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Post by Sleeping Bag Man! on Sept 22, 2022 16:36:32 GMT -8
Certainly. Hopefully we're all just having some fun here. But SBM always makes good points, even when he's being tongue in cheek. And I also find this topic very interesting. You're right...I was a bit bipolar on this thread. My intention was to be entirely tongue-in-cheek, but I lost my discipline. Anyways...my butthurt at being called "sir" is of course entirely my own pathetic insecurity about aging. I just hit the Big Five-Oh, and I'm having a long-term Pity Party about getting that damnable AARP card in the mail. I'll get over it. Everything I wrote in response to you was tongue-in-cheek. You, sir, are the most un-phony, respectable person here - since I've told you that before, I felt safe yanking your chain a little bit. I really should stop trying to be amusing. In 20 years of babbling here, I've irritated too many people.
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Post by swmtnbackpacker on Sept 22, 2022 17:24:28 GMT -8
I like etymology so I had a look . From Wiki : Dude is American slang for an individual, typically male.[1] From the 1870s to the 1960s, dude primarily meant a male person who dressed in an extremely fashionable manner (a dandy) or a conspicuous citified person who was visiting a rural location, a "city slicker". In the 1960s, dude evolved to mean any male person, a meaning that slipped into mainstream American slang in the 1970s. Current slang retains at least some use of all three of these common meanings.[2] The term "dude" may have derived from the 18th-century word "doodle", as in "Yankee Doodle Dandy"
Dude is used amongst the young increasingly without regard to traditional gender (so a young woman can be referred to as “dude”). Now dude-a-reeno is a derivative of this I understand Travis’ vibe and generally agree. There was a waitress in Page Arizona years ago who told me she used a different name professionally and it got her bigger tips. Other waitresses must have told her about that. Professionally she was known as “Buffy” and it really seemed to fit. Wonder what Shakespeare would have thought of that. Being called hon by a waitress doesn’t bother me a bit. It’s just business. Down in Mexico older women love to be called senorita, a moniker usually reserved for young women. Use that with a fifty year old woman and you get a big sunny smile. But up here, this is America where everyone is seemingly a victim so being respectful is wise and ignoring those who whine, moan and complain .. Europeans, especially from the northern countries, notice but I recall reading an original James Bond novel, set in the 1950s, where the hero slips from Canada to upstate New York for an assassination. When he encounters friendly Americans, the term is “North American friendly” .. so assuming that could be we are big countries with a lot of open land and/or more mercantile if we need to get a job selling. Even our cashiers make small talk which may get one committed in Europe. European cashiers are downright dour in comparison. Even a Scandinavian exchange student to the US will be more outgoing upon return. When a young person calls me “Sir” You could do a Jack Nicholson on them from A Few Good Men and yell Y ou Can’t Handle the Truth! Of course with todays generation they may wonder if you quoted the Star Wars trilogy prequel or original.
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BigLoad
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Pancakes!
Posts: 12,911
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Post by BigLoad on Sept 22, 2022 17:44:19 GMT -8
I keep thinking about this. Apart from sometimes being startled by them, gratuitous terms of endearment cause me no angst. They're just another small part of how some people get through life.
The role they sometimes play in small-scale extortion doesn't bother me. But it is what really makes me ponder. In other areas of life, I'm very sensitive to manipulation. In work situations, I've called people out by describing in detail how they're trying to manipulate me and how that affects my willingness to give them what they seek. Maybe it's just the size of the stakes or empathy towards anyone who depends on tips, but angling for a better tip feels much less sinister than other types of human manipulation.
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Post by cweston on Sept 23, 2022 5:00:19 GMT -8
I guess one of the things that bug me about these salutations is that many using them are doing so somewhat ironically. I find this particularly with the term "Boss". At face value they are saying you are the customer and therefore the boss but with many there is an undercurrent of them declaring "you are actually not my boss, Boss". I am not interested in getting involved with their authority issues. Maybe it is my issue but sometimes when I am asked "What would you like sweetie?" I sort of hear "What do you want a-hole?". Maybe this is more an NYC area thing. This actually is a thing sometimes. Like southerners saying “bless your heart” (which really means “you are an idiot.”) At an academic conference, everyone is Dr. So-and-so, but they address each other by first name, typically. If you address someone as Dr. So-and-so, in that context, it is probably meant as a show of disrespect, and will probably be widely understood that way.
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Travis
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WYOMING NATIVE
Posts: 2,577
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Post by Travis on Sept 23, 2022 7:50:24 GMT -8
What really grates me is when someone, usually considerably younger than me, calls me “dude”. What does that mean anyway? I like etymology so I had a look . ...[1] From the 1870s to the 1960s, dude primarily meant a male person who dressed in an extremely fashionable manner (a dandy) or a conspicuous citified person who was visiting a rural location, a "city slicker".[emphasis mine] To some extent I share hikerjer 's aversion (revulsion) to the term "dude." I grew up on a Wyoming ranch where "dude" or "city-slicker" were the ultimate put-downs, practically fighting words in fact.
A "dude" was someone who didn't know how to get their hands dirty. And their boots (if they wore boots) had never stomped through the sloppy manure in the corrals. They were like "newbies," "tourons" or "posers" in some backpackers' parlance. Older ranchers whom I knew generally had enough manners to never call anyone "dude" or "city-slicker" to their face. Those were terms of derision used behind the back. Now I see the term "dude" as more of a generational term that has fallen into disuse — except perhaps among that generation. I'm not ready to accept the term "elderly," but no way I'm young enough to welcome the term "dude."
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rebeccad
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Writing like a maniac
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Post by rebeccad on Sept 23, 2022 7:56:58 GMT -8
At an academic conference, everyone is Dr. So-and-so, but they address each other by first name, typically. If you address someone as Dr. So-and-so, in that context, it is probably meant as a show of disrespect, and will probably be widely understood that way. Interesting. I haven’t been to a conference since my grad school days, so things would be different now, both as a fellow “Dr” and because of the passage of an unspecified but significant chunk of time. I would have said that everyone was “Dr. So-and-So” unless you were on terms with them that meant the use of first names. Certainly a grad student calling anyone she didn’t know by the first name would be seen as either disrespectful or presumptuous or both. I guess even academia changes, however slowly. And texasbb has it right about the cremation plans. I ain’t dead yet. I bet those things make a lot of money. I don’t know how expensive it is in other places, but I can, sadly, vouch that if you skip expensive coffins and viewings, it’s under $1500 in Chico, Ca. Collect that upfront when someone is 60, upsell them for some pretty stuff that “your family would want” and then hang onto that money for 10-35 years. And when you finally drop dead, no one can find the policy anyway, or you moved to Inner Mongolia, or…
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Post by downriver on Sept 23, 2022 8:07:32 GMT -8
The guy down at the local market constantly calls me "chief" and i'm unsure what to make of it. I hear the term “chief” used by ex-military on occasion. Regards, DR
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Post by downriver on Sept 23, 2022 8:23:38 GMT -8
I’ve heard women object to be called “a doll” or “sweetheart” or “dear” by random men with no close association to them. Such words may be considered "terms of endearment" (or “pet names”), but they can make many women cringe at what they rightfully may see as demeaning or disrespectful, and inappropriate in the workplace. I have long banished such terms from my conversations, but in an odd twist, I find myself subjected to similar terms from women whom I don’t even know. Some of the terms that grate on me like fingernails on a blackboard include “buddy,” “hon,” and today, “my dear.” Most of the women are middle-aged. I don’t know why. And it’s bad enough to hear myself addressed that way once. But when the term is used repeatedly during a brief encounter at the cash register, and week after week, let’s just say there is a significant potential for the brief conversation to take a downward spiral. So, men and women, how do you approach such circumstances? Or am I the only one? Sense of humor welcome. If you’re not getting shot at and it’s not a donnybrook, it’s not that serious. It is what it is, dude... Happy Trails, DR
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Travis
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WYOMING NATIVE
Posts: 2,577
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Post by Travis on Sept 23, 2022 8:41:30 GMT -8
^^^The former "RangerSven" for those who may not have figured it out, yet. LOL^^^
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