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Post by Coolkat on Sept 21, 2022 3:45:04 GMT -8
With the example of the OP's first post I understand the issue if women are being objectified or put down but outside of that I think people are too easily offended. Most people are just trying to be friendly. Life is easier and better when you just assume the best of people. Call me Hon, call me sweetheart, call me a grump. I don't care. Life is too short to get bent out of shape about such things.
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bcpete
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There's cool, and then there's me.
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Post by bcpete on Sept 21, 2022 5:46:02 GMT -8
Another take on letting things go ... I try to remember that most of these positions are minimum wage, and the folks who work these jobs aren't usually the brightest in society (yeah, I'm stereotyping). If they use any term of endearment it's most likely their way of trying to be friendly (consistently throughout the day). Dude, honey, man ... it's all good if they say it with light in their eyes.
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Post by Sleeping Bag Man! on Sept 21, 2022 6:27:27 GMT -8
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rebeccad
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Writing like a maniac
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Post by rebeccad on Sept 21, 2022 7:58:51 GMT -8
Waitresses have been calling their customers “honey” and “luv” and such forever. I don’t care; it’s meaningless friendly noise. The alternative is ma’am and sir, and I’m not sure I like that any better. What I find I really dislike is being called “miss,” though I understand that’s also come out of the South. But when I’m old enough to be the person’s grandma, well, in my culture “miss” is often dismissive and/or a sign you are in trouble (when young). So I cringe.
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swiftdream
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the Great Southwest Unbound
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Post by swiftdream on Sept 21, 2022 10:14:57 GMT -8
I understand Travis’ vibe and generally agree.
There was a waitress in Page Arizona years ago who told me she used a different name professionally and it got her bigger tips. Other waitresses must have told her about that. Professionally she was known as “Buffy” and it really seemed to fit. Wonder what Shakespeare would have thought of that. Being called hon by a waitress doesn’t bother me a bit. It’s just business.
Down in Mexico older women love to be called senorita, a moniker usually reserved for young women. Use that with a fifty year old woman and you get a big sunny smile.
But up here, this is America where everyone is seemingly a victim so being respectful is wise and ignoring those who whine, moan and complain as a routine, is also wise.
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Travis
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WYOMING NATIVE
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Post by Travis on Sept 21, 2022 11:39:52 GMT -8
As I hinted earlier, people who really know me are more likely to call me "Trouble-Maker," or just "Trouble" for short. I agree with them and tell them that I always aspire to further greatness. I cannot rest until I'm trouble-maker number #1. And there is so much competition in this world. But it's job security because there is always someone who needs some trouble. But I'm not heartless. I understand that some people are burdened with too many problems and don't need any more. So I see myself as having two jobs in life. I'm a trouble-maker and trouble-shooter. For those with no problems I create a few. For those with too many problems I try to solve a few. It's commerce. I'm a redistributor of life's difficulties. That way everyone has some trouble to contend with, but no one has too much. Those are my goals. By the time I get done explaining all this I've usually finished my business, received my change, and I'm heading for the door. Hopefully the other person understands life much better now, and I've left them enlightened and maybe even happy to get rid of me.
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franco
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Post by franco on Sept 21, 2022 13:21:58 GMT -8
Another take on letting things go ... I try to remember that most of these positions are minimum wage, and the folks who work these jobs aren't usually the brightest in society (yeah, I'm stereotyping). If they use any term of endearment it's most likely their way of trying to be friendly (consistently throughout the day). Dude, honey, man ... it's all good if they say it with light in their eyes. Stereo typing is what I now always do. I started with one finger and now I can type using a finger from each hand. No need to send a medal or a ribbon but I am proud of my progress.
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zeke
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Peekaboo slot 2023
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Post by zeke on Sept 21, 2022 13:37:53 GMT -8
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ErnieW
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Post by ErnieW on Sept 21, 2022 15:01:02 GMT -8
The one time being called sir affected me was the first time a sales clerk called me sir in my late twenties. After a stunned moment I realized I am no longer a kid. Now I don't really care. If someone doesn't know my name there are circumstances where they have to use something, dude.
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swiftdream
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the Great Southwest Unbound
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Post by swiftdream on Sept 21, 2022 15:07:18 GMT -8
Hopefully the other person understands life much better now, and I've left them enlightened and maybe even happy to get rid of me. good one isn’t that the way of it… lol
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driftwoody
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Take the path closer to the edge, especially if less traveled
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Post by driftwoody on Sept 21, 2022 16:19:02 GMT -8
As I hinted earlier, people who really know me are more likely to call me "Trouble-Maker," or just "Trouble" for short. I agree with them and tell them that I always aspire to further greatness. I cannot rest until I'm trouble-maker number #1. And there is so much competition in this world. But it's job security because there is always someone who needs some trouble. But I'm not heartless. I understand that some people are burdened with too many problems and don't need any more. So I see myself as having two jobs in life. I'm a trouble-maker and trouble-shooter. For those with no problems I create a few. For those with too many problems I try to solve a few. It's commerce. I'm a redistributor of life's difficulties. That way everyone has some trouble to contend with, but no one has too much. Those are my goals. By the time I get done explaining all this I've usually finished my business, received my change, and I'm heading for the door. Hopefully the other person understands life much better now, and I've left them enlightened and maybe even happy to get rid of me. You make it sound like the cumulative burden of troubles in this life are a zero sum game, and you have harnessed your natural proclivities to become a self appointed arbiter to redistribute those troubles based on your perception of justice.
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rebeccad
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Post by rebeccad on Sept 21, 2022 17:59:29 GMT -8
It should be everyone’s mission to comfort the afflicted and afflict the comfortable.
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Post by trinity on Sept 21, 2022 18:15:40 GMT -8
Interesting (to me) discussion, especially thoughts on sir and ma'am, which, to me, are signs of respect, rather than of forced intimacy (e.g. "honey", "darling") or condescension (e.g., "miss", "babe"). But these all have to do with personal perception, and are highly subjective. As a born and raised Texan, I use the terms sir and ma'am unconciously, and they convey genuine respect on my part. I use them to address people a fraction of my age, including my 13 year old son. I don't consider these terms age related, but I recognize that some may perceive them that way.
On a somewhat related note, many of these terms of endearment/respect, including sir and maam, are explicitly or implicitly gendered, as a generation is coming of age that largely rejects these categories. More and more people are discontinuing the use of gendered pronouns, for example. I suspect that the time is coming when titles such as sir and maam, however they are intended, will no longer be considered acceptable.
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BigLoad
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Post by BigLoad on Sept 21, 2022 19:03:05 GMT -8
It should be everyone’s mission to comfort the afflicted and afflict the comfortable. No wonder everyone is afflicting me!
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Post by Sleeping Bag Man! on Sept 21, 2022 20:20:52 GMT -8
As a born and raised Texan, I use the terms sir and ma'am unconciously, and they convey genuine respect on my part. If everyone walks around unconsciously slinging respect, it cheapens real respect. It's like handing out participation trophies. You don't know these people...sure, one stranger might be toiling away heroically on the cure for cancer while writing the next great American novel...but another might have 3 dead hobos buried in 55-gallon drums under their backyard patio - and you just gave them respect! I can't have that on my conscience. Unless some "sir"-ing stranger just witnessed me rescue a kitten or invent the longer-lasting lightbulb, the only possible criteria for their contrived respect must be: 1) being male, and 2) being old. The best possible thing that can be said about my conception & birth is that I won a swimming race against about 100 million competitors. Admirable indeed, but every last person on earth shares this gold medal podium. And I had a 1.05-to-1.00 chance of bearing XY chromosomes, so even IF I had some cosmic agency in making this choice, statistical probability was on my side. No...being plopped out into this world with male bits is no accomplishment worthy of respect. And since I've already proven scientifically that I am NOT OLD...well, how can I trust the judgment of someone who uses such faulty criteria as a basis for respect? Basking in the glow of such factually incorrect & poorly thought-out praise is like warming your hands by a TV that's showing video of a fire in a fireplace. ===== mic drop =====
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