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Post by autumnmist on Jan 30, 2020 8:29:57 GMT -8
Most people want to be part of a community. They just need some direction. I'd like to think that, but when people won't even come to the door to answer a knock, I have to wonder. That could be b/c of solicitors though, but some of us have "no soliciting" signs on our doors, as I have for years. When I first moved in, not only did one man come over to help with the unloading process, he's the same one whose son today helps others. One neighbor hautily advised me that my property had never been owned by a woman, alone. So what? Then he advised me that it had never been a garden. Again, so what? OTOH, his next door neighbor was the one who was so friendly; even his relatives from Israel came up to the fence to chat when I was working in the yard. I think that the tendency to communicate more by tech devices than in person has affected how younger people are growing up and interacting. As mk wrote about the young couple in her neighborhood, I see that as well. It's easy to segue into isolation when your contacts aren't personal, but through devices. I often wonder if people growing up with this mindset will be able to interact socially, with friends, or in business environments.
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Hungry Jack
Trail Wise!
Living and dying in 3/4 time...
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Post by Hungry Jack on Jan 30, 2020 9:02:03 GMT -8
Most people want to be part of a community. They just need some direction. I'd like to think that, but when people won't even come to the door to answer a knock, I have to wonder. That could be b/c of solicitors though, but some of us have "no soliciting" signs on our doors, as I have for years. When I first moved in, not only did one man come over to help with the unloading process, he's the same one whose son today helps others. One neighbor hautily advised me that my property had never been owned by a woman, alone. So what? Then he advised me that it had never been a garden. Again, so what? OTOH, his next door neighbor was the one who was so friendly; even his relatives from Israel came up to the fence to chat when I was working in the yard. I think that the tendency to communicate more by tech devices than in person has affected how younger people are growing up and interacting. As mk wrote about the young couple in her neighborhood, I see that as well. It's easy to segue into isolation when your contacts aren't personal, but through devices. I often wonder if people growing up with this mindset will be able to interact socially, with friends, or in business environments. LOL at the comment about the property "never been owned by a woman." I guess this guy was around during the suffrage movement, and probably hasn't recovered. Seriously, sorry you had to hear that crap. I assume he was some crusty old booger who yells at clouds. They are out there, especially in remote areas. Probably relatively harmless, just waaayyy behind. As a parent of a 9 year old, I worry about the influence of technology on personal interactions. I see dysfunction, but (at my kid's school) I see lots of kids who are very social, polite, and comfortable in interpersonal communications, even with adults. My sense is that there is proud, stubborn, independent streak in many rural people. It does not explain the lack of neighborliness (I also sense that these small rural communities tend to rely on eachother quite a bit during times of need). But as city people take refuge in small towns, the "cocooning" behaviors might be coming with them. People need a reason (prompt) to communitize (I made that word up). It could be a block party (OK, in the boonies, no such thing as a "block"), a joint project, a death (funerals are reunions that can easily turn into parties if you get away from the church), etc. My take is that if you want a strong community, build it.
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Post by autumnmist on Jan 30, 2020 9:23:52 GMT -8
My take is that if you want a strong community, build it. I agree with everything you wrote, but am still thinking about the quoted statement. I do see your point; it takes a lot more than a few people. I will admit that I haven't had the time or interest over the last several years, for a variety of reasons, primarily father care. What I do think is an impediment to community bonding (for lack of a better time) is the city's encouragement to report code violations, which pits neighbor against neighbor. Back when I moved in, neighbors pitched in to help another neighbor. That happens less now, but there is a possibility that some of the younger people just haven't experienced this kind of community involvement or support. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
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Hungry Jack
Trail Wise!
Living and dying in 3/4 time...
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Post by Hungry Jack on Jan 30, 2020 11:25:45 GMT -8
My take is that if you want a strong community, build it. What I do think is an impediment to community bonding (for lack of a better time) is the city's encouragement to report code violations, which pits neighbor against neighbor. Curious--what city is this? The code stuff is a mixed bag. My BFF was a homeowner in a Champaign IL for a while before moving to CO. There was an association with by laws, and he served as treasurer. He also got to play the bad guy by 1) collecting dues; and 2) enforcing code. His primary interest was preserving property values by not letting the neighborhood resemble Hooterville (all apologies to Hooterites). So one owner "built" a fence by leaning panels up against trash cans, spare boulders, etc. As you would imagine, it looked like Bob Vila's worst nightmare. That one required an intervention. I suggested combustion. He was more diplomatic. That said, enforcement should be left to hired officials, and not well-intended residents. Living in a crowded city is a great example of how people must really learn to share and be personally responsible in small ways (stuff like obeying traffic rules, not littering, turning down the Michael Bolton Greatest Hits music after 10pm). It generally works, but minor transgressions cause bigger problems (esp. the traffic stuff, which includes cyclists and pedestrians).
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Post by oldbill on Jan 30, 2020 12:20:50 GMT -8
It's inspiring to read about the backgrounds and experiences of so many.
I was born and raised in central Kansas, 2 generations from the farms my families homesteaded just after the Civil War. I can say that I have fond memories of my childhood in KS suburbia, with visits to farms and early education in fishing and bird hunting. Still find many out there to be salt-of-the-earth types. I keep that in mind having spent 4 decades in the upper east coast. I also remember the wind, how hot it got and how refreshing it was when we took 2 summer vacations to Crestone and Gunnison, CO. That was my introduction to the mountains and fly fishing. I was hooked. Remembered that as we moved to IL,NY, then CT. I've lived in NJ, GA, and MA as well.
Late in the career, I started taking more vacations in Wyoming, starting with a dude ranch in Dubois, then quickly adding on more time to explore the area. After a few years I looked heavily into buying a business (I worked in highly technical pharmaceutical R&D so no chance of tranfers!) or a second home. Dubois, Pinedale, the area south of Jackson, even a fly fishing ranch in Montana all were discussed with realtors. Many of the same concerns about being "an outsider", etc. all came up, as well as adapting to the long winters (I'm not a skier - flunked 2 classes).
After retirement, I wanted to be close to aging parents who recently have moved to a CCC in Ohio, but by then I had a girlfriend who is still tied to Connecticut. So, I just enjoy the mountains in NH/VT/NY and vacation every year to my dream location in September. It's not so bad...except the taxes and general cost of living...
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Post by bradmacmt on Jan 30, 2020 15:21:04 GMT -8
So, I just enjoy the mountains in NH/VT/NY and vacation every year to my dream location in September. It's not so bad...except the taxes and general cost of living... NH, VT, and NY are not "bad" by any yardstick!
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Post by hikerjer on Jan 30, 2020 18:03:12 GMT -8
I've often wondered if the local government contributes to this by encouraging neighbors to report potential code enforcements. I learned when I first moved in that it's one of the ways neighbors hassle those they don't like. I hardly consider reporting code violations harassment. The codes are there for a reason - to protect the safety, integrity and value of the neighborhood. We've got several properties in our neighborhood where the absentee landlords would do nothing to keep them up were if not for codes. I've gone to the code enforcement office on numerous occasions to get them to act on a violation. I don't particularly like abandoned cars, unshoveled sidewalks, four foot high weeds, houses that are left vacant with broken windows and doors that become havens for vagrants and feral dogs and cats (no horses yet - but without codes, who knows), etc. The codes are there for a reason and I believe in enforcing them. When I make a report on a code violation it's not to to harass anyone but to protect the neighborhood. If you want to call me a grumpy old man, go ahead. Just don't let your dog bark continuously at 2 am..
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Post by cweston on Jan 30, 2020 18:38:27 GMT -8
Also, get off Jer's lawn!
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Post by hikerjer on Jan 30, 2020 18:56:34 GMT -8
Also, get off Jer's lawn! I Aw, I don't mind that so much. I've even let people set up their tents on my lawn and spend the night there. Found out that was a violation of the city's codes if it's on the front lawn.
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Post by johntpenca on Jan 30, 2020 19:10:57 GMT -8
Also, get off Jer's lawn! I'm more worried about his dawg.
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Post by johntpenca on Jan 30, 2020 19:31:16 GMT -8
Just don't let your dog bark continuously at 2 am.. Oh man! When I lived in Cali our next door neighbors had three yippy assed chihuahuas. They left those fricking dogs out at night at all hours. I had to be up at 4:45 AM to make the commute to south Orange county and those f***ers yipped until 1:00 AM almost every night. We complained to the owners, but their response was "whats your problem". Many the night I wanted to toss cyanide laced hamburger over the fence. But I digress; just touched a nerve.
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Hungry Jack
Trail Wise!
Living and dying in 3/4 time...
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Post by Hungry Jack on Jan 30, 2020 19:41:59 GMT -8
When we bought our house near Wrigley Field in 2001, there were 4-5 properties on the block that were ragged, if not derelict. One was uninhabitable and owned by “Crazy Peggy”, a batty retiree who lived in a nursing home a few blocks away. It was useless to get after the owners of these places, as they were either absentee or broke, so we just focused on what we could control. The neighborhood is dramatically different now—from renters to homeowners with young families.
The biggest battle lately is Uber drivers who park on our quiet street, eat their take out dinner in the car, then open the door, dump the trash, and drive off.
When I catch this guy in the act, Michael Douglas’ role in Falling Down will be reprised in a very direct way.
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Post by burntfoot on Jan 30, 2020 21:33:16 GMT -8
Back online. Yes, I had the same cold temperatures in Wisconsin as we had here in Gunnison, Colorado. But, it felt worse in Wisconsin. Unlike here, where I lived in Wisconsin had humidity and wind chill to deal with. In Wisconsin, if it is minus 20 at night, there is a chance that it won't get above zero the next day. Here, if we have minus 20, we still get 15 or 20 degrees above zero the following day. I've always said that I'd take minus 30 here over minus 10 back there.
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mk
Trail Wise!
North Texas
Posts: 1,217
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Post by mk on Jan 31, 2020 5:03:07 GMT -8
People need a reason (prompt) to communitize (I made that word up). It could be a block party (OK, in the boonies, no such thing as a "block"), a joint project, a death (funerals are reunions that can easily turn into parties if you get away from the church), etc. My take is that if you want a strong community, build it. Everyone wants to get together -- but nobody wants to plan it. A few years ago, we hosted a pool party for our neighbors -- we invited those we knew on our block as well as the ones we met around the block while walking the dog. We called it "A party for Finn's friends," because these were people that our dog had met. When we walked, he would lay on the yard of any house that had the garage door up and wait for the people to come out and say hello to him. It was a fun party, and everyone agreed that we should make it a regular thing. But nobody was willing to step up and organize. I've been the person who organizes everything, and I'm a little weary of that role, so I'm stepping back and letting other people take charge. But they don't. Anyway, the interesting thing I see today is the unwillingness of people to commit. They might make it to the event, if nothing better comes up. We had several "sure, sounds fun, I'd love to come" responses, but when it came down to it, they didn't show. And if a new neighbor can't even be bothered to glance over and wave while we are both out, I am not wasting my time baking them cookies. I guess I'm now the "get off my lawn" curmudgeon. Ah well.
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mk
Trail Wise!
North Texas
Posts: 1,217
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Post by mk on Jan 31, 2020 5:07:10 GMT -8
Basically, though, Hungry Jack, I do agree with you. It takes work to make a community. burntfoot - I totally understand what you mean about windchill and humidity. After 28 years in Texas, though, I'm not interested in anything below zero!
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