daveg
Trail Wise!
Michigan
Posts: 565
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Post by daveg on Apr 4, 2023 13:10:12 GMT -8
That is sad news, indeed. It's a bit disconcerting to learn that someone who posted just two weeks ago is no longer with us.
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reuben
Trail Wise!
Gonna need more Camels at the next refugio...
Posts: 11,169
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Post by reuben on Apr 4, 2023 13:50:41 GMT -8
Over the years I've been to several funerals, services, remembrances, tributes, gatherings, etc., for deceased friends, neighbors, and relatives. Cancer, heart attack, suicide, drugs, covid, just plain old age, and other causes. Nothing noteworthy there. Yes, I've seen people my age or younger die, but in general it's been older generations. Again, nothing new. A couple of decades ago, as I saw friends and relatives die, I came to realize in a much more immediate way that my generation is next. We're moving to the front of the line. It's not a happy thought, but it's an undeniable truth. Nevertheless, sometimes when the subject arises with friends or relatives, I state it rather bluntly. "You know what this means, right?" "What?" "We're next." There's usually a bit of silence after that. Naturally, I make sure that the people and circumstances are appropriate. As an English professor once admonished me, "Know thy audience." To counter this, I follow with emphatic emphasis for those I'm with to hug their loved ones. As in right freakin' now if they're in the same room. To tell them, "I love you", face to face if possible rather than in an email or text. Lock eyes with them. Fercryinoutloud, they're only 10 feet away! Let them know that you really mean it, and that it's not just a perfunctory statement which you wouldn't make in more normal circumstances. Maybe a phone call or hand written letter, if it's not possible in person. Did you misspell that word? No problem, just scratch it out and write it again. That's infinitely better than relying on spellcheck. Or maybe leave it just the way it is, warts and all. Once or twice a year I unexpectedly receive a hand written letter, or maybe just a quick note, about something from someone. They are awesome. Texts and emails are deleted, but I have a tiny pile of handwritten letters, notes, and post cards. Over a decade ago (probably two decades ago - is that possible???) I received a handwritten letter of thanks from the father of one of my youngest daughter's teammates when they where in college. I don't know if I still have it, but it was great. And I still remember it. The emails from others? Not likely, but time is understandably a factor sometimes.
Either this year or next (more likely) I will finally embark on Reuben's Retirement Tour. I will throw some gear in the truck and drive around the country visiting friends, relatives, former coworkers, and vague acquaintances. I will visit the graves of some who passed before I got there.
I will visit the widow of a man I never met, but for whom I somehow got a book deal. If I'm lucky, I may even meet their daughter. Hopefully I will see Ed, his wife, and "baby girl". When Ahmaud Arbery was murdered I was afraid that Ed was the victim, as he is young, black, athletic, and lives in the area. I took a dying friend and his wife to a concert I knew that we would all enjoy, and we had a great time. He knew that he would die soon, and a few months later he was gone. But we had a great night together.
But I will not see cgaphiker, ChuckD, my wonderful cousin Sam, Roger Welsch, Doug Tompkins, and several others. The last time I saw Doug he was in a casket in Coyahaique. Peter died at his desk at church. I wish I had gone on this tour a decade ago. My excuses were that I had family responsibilities, work responsibilities, finite vacation time, "they're fine", etc. And then they died. Excuses, excuses. A tree fell on ChuckD. Doug died while kayaking. Brad had a heart attack while putting on his boots to go to work. And on top of all that, it may not be others that you need to think about seeing before the go. It may be you that's next, not them. It may be your last chance to see them, for the converse of the reasons noted above. And you'll give them a chance to reciprocate. Don't wait.
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Deborah
Trail Wise!
Yes, that's me.
Posts: 1,115
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Post by Deborah on Apr 4, 2023 14:53:45 GMT -8
And on top of all that, it may not be others that you need to think about seeing before the go. It may be you that's next, not them. It may be your last chance to see them, for the converse of the reasons noted above. Indeed. The countdown to the final decade(s) is getting short. I hope you have a great trip!
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balzaccom
Trail Wise!
Waiting for spring...
Posts: 4,534
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Post by balzaccom on Apr 8, 2023 12:46:03 GMT -8
Either this year or next (more likely) I will finally embark on Reuben's Retirement Tour. I will throw some gear in the truck and drive around the country visiting friends, relatives, former coworkers, and vague acquaintances. I will visit the graves of some who passed before I got there. My older brother had plans like this for a couple of years ago. Then COVID happened. Now he needs a new hip, and that will lay him up for a few months this summer. But I think I'll raise the topic again with him. Seems like a good idea.
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RumiDude
Trail Wise!
Marmota olympus
Posts: 2,361
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Post by RumiDude on Apr 8, 2023 16:27:36 GMT -8
My older brother had plans like this for a couple of years ago. Then COVID happened. Now he needs a new hip, and that will lay him up for a few months this summer. In some ways COVID really pissed me off because it took two years outa my life when I had planned to howl! Still feel that way sometimes. The changes come fast and furious at my age so two years was significant. On the other hand, I have to know that I have lived a magical life. I am the luckiest man in the world. Still ... Anyway, I know to not put things off that I want and am able to do. Just do it because you never know. See my signature line for further explanation. Rumi
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Post by hikerjer on Apr 8, 2023 17:20:32 GMT -8
My father once gave me some excellent advice when, years ago, I was contemplating turning down a summer job in Alaska for no real reason except maybe fear of a new and unknown experience far from home. He told me, “You can always find a reason for not going. Just go”. Turned out to be a great experience.
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Post by oldbill on Mar 30, 2024 16:33:18 GMT -8
Just read through these stories. It was kind of depressing but ultimately inspirational. What a great group of folks. I guess I'm mostly sad because I started backpacking late and progressed slowly. It was trips to the Wind Rivers that inspired me to go beyond dude ranches and day hikes. That was some 20+ years ago. I only finally got good enough to be solo for 4-5 nights. I will never experience what most of you have, but at 66 I refuse to give up exploring the Winds and the region.
This year I hope to loop through Bear Basin with a friend who is 72. We were stopped by weather last year. He is an inspiration, as are all of you.
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Post by hikerjer on Mar 30, 2024 17:02:58 GMT -8
Maybe this is touching on sacrilege for a topic like this, but I’ll go ahead and try add a little levity to an otherwise somber topic, “Be sure to go your friend’s funerals, otherwise, they won’t come to yours”.
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Post by Sleeping Bag Man! on Mar 30, 2024 17:13:13 GMT -8
Man...you guys are even older since this thread was started
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Post by hikerjer on Mar 30, 2024 18:03:05 GMT -8
Man...you guys are even older since this thread was started But, isn’t that a good thing?
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Post by Sleeping Bag Man! on Mar 30, 2024 19:33:28 GMT -8
But, isn’t that a good thing? I suppose...but someone put out a dish of hard candy, and paid for their groceries with exact change. If you guys start playing bingo, I'm outta here!
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driftwoody
Trail Wise!
Take the path closer to the edge, especially if less traveled
Posts: 15,004
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Post by driftwoody on Mar 30, 2024 20:19:16 GMT -8
Man...you guys are even older since this thread was started I suppose you're like Billy Pilgrim, flitzing about the timeline of your life.
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Post by Sleeping Bag Man! on Mar 30, 2024 21:09:15 GMT -8
I suppose you're like Billy Pilgrim, flitzing about the timeline of your life. When do I get placed in a zoo exhibit and forced to mate with a porn star?
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bluefish
Trail Wise!
Posts: 4,683
Member is Online
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Post by bluefish on Mar 31, 2024 2:02:26 GMT -8
I suppose you're like Billy Pilgrim, flitzing about the timeline of your life. When do I get placed in a zoo exhibit and forced to mate with a porn star? I'm going to count backwards from 10, with each number you will become more deeply relaxed . 10...9......8........7...........6..............5...............4...............3.. Like Billy Pilgrim, we are unreliable narrators of our own lives. I re-read this thread and found it both disturbing and comforting simultaneously. Yesterday, my wife and I drove into the Green National Forest to start seeking out our very own dispersed camping site, well hidden, that can be reached by our bikes easily on weekend nights. I'm adjusting to not training for RtoRtoR hikes or Trans-Sierra trips. On the other side of this , driving in incredible azure skies with mountain views and sparkling trout streams yesterday, made me realize the specificity of appreciation and gratitude. Carpe Diem to the freakin' max. Every. Moment. Counts.
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driftwoody
Trail Wise!
Take the path closer to the edge, especially if less traveled
Posts: 15,004
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Post by driftwoody on Mar 31, 2024 2:56:14 GMT -8
I suppose you're like Billy Pilgrim, flitzing about the timeline of your life. When do I get placed in a zoo exhibit and forced to mate with a porn star? It's already happened, and always will happen. Up to you to gain control of your time tripping.
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